Karaoke Night
by LovelessxHarlequin
Summary: It's karaoke night at 7th Heaven and Reno's birthday. His crew decides to celebrate and is dragged into a karaoke competition by the redhead. The song accurately describes how Turks are when it comes to the opposite sex... at least I think so


I came across this idea when reading some Turk fanfics and listening to Bedrock by Lil' Wayne and Young Money. Why wouldn't Reno drag the crew into Tifa's bar on karaoke night and then make them sing. It's almost a sonfic, but not really. Let me know what you think! Review!

Disclaimer: As I am just a poor college student I own nothing besides a huge amount of debt. Squaresoft owns the FF characters and Weezy record company owns the song lyrics.

* * *

Karaoke Night at 7th Heaven had become on of Tifa's most popular nights. The generally crowded bar was packed even tighter on this night as one drunken patron after the next fought for his or her place on the list so they could sing and dance their way across the main bar. Tonight was a very special karaoke night, Tifa had been promoting a competition. Whoever impressed the room the most won a free tab for the next month. The way that the crowd showed their appreciation for the singer was by buying drinks. Tifa had paid extra workers to come in and help keep track of the tally for the night. It was a risky endeavor but she figured it would pay off with record sales for the night. She had made sure that she was stocked to support all of the thirsty patrons.

On these karaoke nights she made sure to open early so that her regulars had a chance to drink in peace for a few hours before the rush. Three of her regulars were joined by three slightly newer faces, but they had all been there at one time or the other. A more drunken than usual Reno, Rude, and Elena were joined by Tseng, Reeve, and Rufus. Reno was the only one who had ever come on karaoke night and that was only to try and pick up other girls without Tifa noticing. The bartender always knew, but she never faulted him for it, it was just Reno.

"Hey guys, what can I get you all?" Tifa asked the group as they all took seats at the bar.

"The usual," Rude and Elena had answered in unison. Whiskey, Scotch, and Gin had been the choices of Tseng, Reeve, and Rufus respectively. Reno was the only one who had not responded. He was leaning over the bar and grinning fiendishly as Tifa fixed the other drinks. Reluctantly she turned to the redheaded Turk.

"What'll you have Reno?"

"Ssomething sspecial from tha hearrt," he slurred. Tifa had taken to notice that when Reno got particularly drunk his slums accent came back quite thicker than usual.

"Get him a club soda to sober him up. At the rate he's been going we won't last another hour," Tseng snorted with a sideways glance at Reno. "He's been celebrating for three days without stopping."

"Celebrating what?" Tifa asked.

"His birthday, which is actually today," Elena answered sipping her mojito.

"Ooohh yeaa! And they're all gonna pay my tab, so I'm getting good an' drunk babe!" Reno chimed. "Ain't you gonna get me a present?"

"How about one drink on the house," Tifa offered. She was surprised that he had not demanded birthday sex right then and there.

"Aawwe c'mon you can do better'n that! All these yahoos are givin' me two wishes that they have to fulfill."

"Hence the tab," Rude commented taking a swig of the dark beer Tifa had place in front of him.

"What do you want Reno?" As soon as she asked Tifa knew it was a mistake. She just gave him an opening that she had to seal off as quickly as possible. "And if you ask me to sleep with you then your ass is out the door on the pavement."

"How 'bout a kiss then babe," Reno begged. It was not the first time that Reno had made the request and it would not be the first time that she had consented. She and Reno frequently shared heated make-out sessions on nights that he would buy a bottle and share it with her after closing.

"Just a peck," she said waving a finger at him. She knew it would be more than that, she could not help but love the skill that he had at kissing, amongst other things.

"I'll collect on it later," the redhead beamed. Tifa gave him the club soda that Tseng ordered. Steadily the bar began to pack with people and the competition began. As Tifa had expected the competition was good for business and the tally board proved that. Hundreds of drinks were dished out for the good performers.

"So what'll it take for me ta getcha in the sack, it's my birthday," Reno pleaded.

"Mmm," Tifa mused playfully. "You get up on this bar and sing and I'll give you the kiss, a free bottle, and we'll see where it goes from there. Happy Birthday." Tifa leaned in as if she was going to kiss him but instead reached her arm up to retrieve an empty glass from a man behind Reno. The redhead sobered up immediately and tried to work up the courage to get up on the bar, but when that failed he devised a new plan. His friends still owed him one more wish for the night, the first being used to get them all to 7th Heaven on Karaoke Night. If he was going to embarrass himself then he was not going to do it alone.

"K guys, we're doin' this karaoke thing. That's what I want for my final present," he told them. He was met with malice and groans, but finally the all agreed, even Tseng, Reeve, and Rufus. All that was left was to pick the song. Reno had just the song in mind too. It had enough parts for them all to have their own solo and for him to be the star. It was a song that they all knew, considering it was one of Reno's new favorite songs.

Tifa had not believed that Reno was going to go through with it, but when he had dragged his entire crew up on the bar she knew she was going to have to go through with her part of the bargain. Reno was not one to do anything by halves, despite his laziness. The crew was severely intoxicated so Tifa made sure to put one of her temp workers on a video camera to catch this special moment. All that remained of the once powerful Shinra was about to make complete fools out of themselves. When the music came on Tifa nearly fell over, it was the song that Reno had dubbed the Turks theme song. He had told her it described them all perfectly.

"_I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock"_

They had all sang the opening together, on top of the bar, all six of them barely able to stand. Even Rude was belting out the lyrics to the rap song by Young Money. Reno got to take the next verse, as it was his favorite.

"_She got that good good. She Michael Jackson bad. I'm attracted to her, for her attractive ass."_ The redhead made a good show of strutting around the bar and pointing out his favorite girls. He was going to build up as much hype as he could. Tifa regretted it as the people rushed to buy as many drinks as they could. If this crew won the competition she would be drank out of house, home, and bar in a week.

"_And now we murderers, cause we kill time. I knock her lights out, and she still shine. I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave. But I keep her runnin' back an' forth like a soccer team. Cold as a winter day, hot as a summer eve. Young Money Theives, steal your love with ease._" By the time he finished his verse his shirt was off and he was sitting in the lap of some scantily clad bimbo. Next up, much to Tifa's surprise again was Rude. It was rare that he strung more than seven words together to for a full sentence and here was the stoic, bald, muscleman Turk singing on top of her bar.

"_I like the way you walk and if you walking my way. I'm that red bull, now let's fly away. Let's buy a place with all kinda space. I let you be the judge, n-n and I'm the case."_ Rude was actually putting on a show. Anyone watching would never be able to tell that before this moment he had spoken only five words the entire night. Following Reno's example, Rude removed his blue suit jacked and unbuttoned his shirt. He made a show of flirting with a few girls by lowering his shades to wink at them.

"_I'm Gudda Gudda. I put her under. I see me with her, no Stevie Wonder. She don't even wonder, cause she know she bad. And I gotta brotha! Grocery bag."_ Rude finished his part by tossing his shades out to the screaming crowd. Tifa might have to pay the Turks to come be entertainment at her bar every now and then. She was sure she could get away with paying them in alcohol, thought it might be cheaper to give them all actual paychecks. The chorus was sang only by Reno while the rest danced on the bar.

"_Oh Baby,  
I Be Stuck To You,  
Like Glue Baby,  
Wanna Spend It All On You,  
Baby,  
My Room Is The G Spot,  
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,  
I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock"_

Tifa knew the next person to go would have to be a girl and it looked like Elena was up. Earlier in the night the blonde had stripped to her white blouse. She had not even given a thought to her appearance as she climbed up on the bar in her white shirt, mini skirt, and high heels. Many a man gave her cat calls and rushed forward to buy drinks just because they got to look at her up on the bar dancing.

"_Okay, I get it. Let me think, I guess it's my turn,"_ Elena made a show of actually trying to think about what she was going to say, twirling her hair and pouting her lips at the crowd. _"Maybe it's time to put this ***** on ya sideburns. He say I'm bad, he problly right. He pressing me like button down on a Friday night."_ By the way Elena was dancing Tifa would have guessed that the woman had been a stripper or dancer in a previous life. She had the attention of every man in the place, even those in her little posse.

_"I'm so pretty like,me on my pedal bike. He on my low scrunch, he on my Echo whites." _Elena had backed up to grind on Tseng, making this the perfect opportunity to get closer to her boss without getting in trouble. Tifa knew what was going on, even though both parties involved were to drunk to realize their actions. Tseng actually continued to dance with Elena on the bar. _"He say __**Laney**__don't stop you the bestest. And I just be comin' off the top as bestest."_ Next up was Rufus. Tifa nearly died watching the white suited Shinra president flirt with women from atop her bar while singing.

_I love ya sushi roll, hotter than wasabi. I race for your love, shake and bake Ricky Bobby. I'm at the W, but I can't meet you in the lobby. Girl I gotta watch my bag, cause I'm not just anybody," _Rufus sang to one girl and then the next. He did not remove any pieces of his immaculate white suit, much to the annoyance of many a girl. _"I seen 'em stand in line, just to get beside her. I let her see the Aston, and let the rest surprise her. That's when we disappear, you need GPS to find her." _His last line almost got him in trouble because it was directed at two people who were clearly a couple. Rufus had draped his arm around the woman's shoulders and leaned over to her lover and said, _"Oh! That was your girl? I thought recognized her."_ The man had taken serious offense to this comment and almost took a swing at the Shinra president, but was stopped by his significant other.

After saving Rufus from instigating things further, the chorus was again taken up by the group and Reno, who had to tear himself from making out with some red head. He was hauled back up on the bar with his comrades, but not before convincing a number of other girls to join them up there.

"_Oh Baby,  
I Be Stuck To You,  
Like Glue Baby,  
Wanna Spend It All On You,  
Baby,  
My Room Is The G Spot,  
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,  
I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock_"

"_She like tannin', I like stayin' in. She like romancin', I like rollin' with friends. She say I'm caged in, I think her conscious is. She watchin' that oxygen, I'm watchin' ESPN."_ Reeve, Mr. All-Work-And-No-Play was even getting in to the act. When Shinra did something they did not do it by halves. He sang while dancing with a tall, brunette model looking woman. Tifa was impressed that the stick in the mud knew how to have a little fun. _"But when that show end, she all on my skin. Lotion, slow emotion, roller coastin' like back and forth hold it... She pose like it's for posters, and I poke her like I'm s'possed to. Take this photo if you for me. She said don't you ever show this! I'm too loyal.. And too focused, to be losin' and be hopeless. When I spoke this, she rejoiced it. Said your word get me open, so I closed it. Where your clothes is? I'm only lovin' for the moment."_ The last one to be up and singing was Tseng. Tifa had to stop watching for a while and serve drinks. The group, despite being Shinra, were a crowd favorite.

"_She ain't got a man, but she's not alone. Miss Independent, yea she got her own. Hey Gorgeous...uhmmm ..I mean flawless."_ If Elena had not been as intoxicated as she was she would have passed out by now because Tseng, the love her life, was singing directly to her. He had grabbed her chin and stopped her from dancing to look in his eyes. _"Well, that's what your are! I see it is how I call it yea. L-look it how she walk. Mmhmmm she know she bad. Do-do your thing baby, I ain't even mad. Imma stay awhile. Hold ya head __**Reeve**__, I-Imma take her down."_ And with that last line he kissed Elena. It had been something that had been a long time coming and everyone had known it. It was a shame that it took drunken karaoke to bring it out. The two broke in time to finish the songs last chorus.

Tifa had barely noticed that Reno was missing from the group on the bar. She had been busy serving drinks to the ravenous crowd. The Turks had probably gotten people to buy as many drinks as all the others who had sang combined. It was clear who the winner was for the night. While Tifa mused over this she did not notice the voice that was singing right behind her, that is, until an arm seized her by the waist and spun her around. She had been ready to strike out at the overzealous drunk until she saw that it was Reno. She frowned and tried to squirm away as he serenade her with the riske lyrics.

"_Oh Baby,  
I Be Stuck To You,  
Like Glue Baby,  
Wanna Spend It All On You,  
Baby,  
My Room Is The G Spot,  
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,  
I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock  
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock"_

It was her own private concert in the middle of the room as Reno pulled her tighter to him all while singing. After the last word of the song he pressed his lips to her claiming the first part of his birthday present from her. The room cheered because of all the patrons that had tried, no one had ever been able to get a kiss from Tifa Lockheart while the bar was still open. They had all received broken noses and black eyes for trying. After returning his kiss for a moment, all Reno received was a playful slap and a chuckle as she pulled herself from his arms.

No Shinra and their Turk were good at whatever it was they had to do, whether it be oppressing the world, killing, or karaoke.

* * *

the official Turk motto should be: Go Hard or Go Home!

They don't do anything by halves.


End file.
